Things don't seem to be getting much better...
But it's not as bad as it could get.

What does a person do when they feel like they don't have that one person that they can completly confide in? That's what I'm feeling like right now. I don't wanna talk to this "best friend" of mine because, well, who want's to hear "yeah, I don't like you any more. You're not my friend anymore. C-ya"? I wouldn't. I dunno, maybe I'll work on things with her. Maybe I'll talk things out and make things all better - like a computer. Delete all the whoryness, install some trust factors, get rid of all the boys she talks to that piss me off from her RAM and bom-badda-bing!, it'll be brand new and portable...like a laptop! Tha'd be nice BUT I really don't see it happening. Not any time soon, atleast.

I love my job. I absolutly love my job, even when it's hectic and busy and there are a bagillion orders for fries and fries won't be done for another 7-10 minutes and we're out of drumsticks and everyone wants drumsticks...I love those times. (I work at a Royal Farms which is like a Sheetz mini-mart, gas, coffee, food, toilet brushes, everything you need at an all-in-one stop) What I do NOT like, however, is the fact that the people I work with bitch and complain about each other but never say anything to your face. Today, a woman that I worked with, let's call her Jane, and I completly busted the hides off of our asses doing orders. It was boom, boom, boom, boom, boom allllll day. The whole while, Lisa was in the back breading chicken, breading fries as we needed them, dropping chicken in the fryer, (doing all the shit jobs basically) and she did this for her shift which was only 5 hours and THEN she stayed almost an hour later because we were still bust ass busy. Well, Lisa left after doing an amazing job and Jane and I patted her on the back (she's new) and told her either we'd do the dishes or we'd get someone else to do the dishes. An hour later, after Jane left, and asshole who shall be referred to as Kenny, being the dickhead he is, comes back to the deli where we were, looks at the dishes and goes "why didn't Lisa do the dishes?" and I told him how busy we were and he goes "It takes 10 fucking minutes to the dishes. She couldn't stay another 10 minutes to do them?" and storms off and does the dishes. What the fuck, yeah, it takes 10 minutes to do dishes but here's the thing: After one busts their ass to feed every hungry person in Crackawingo, that 10 minutes feels like hell wheras, if one farts around in the cooler, stocking shelves and bitching about other employees with the Assistant Manager (who just so happens to be that person's girlfriend's mom and the person they live with), 10 minutes of dishes IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL SO SUCK IT UP. Fucking shit, that's what it is! Then what did the asshole do when I got ready to leave? Talks with the other girl, the Customer Service Leader, about how I didn't do the dishes and poor little him had to do them and he had to take the trash out and oh no! he had to drop chicken for us when we were busy that ONE TIME OUT OF THE WHOLE 8 HOURS WE WERE BUSY. Yeah, I heard it all, went around the counter wher he was at and was like "what was that?" and he pretended like he didn't hear me. -_- uggh. I can't stand him. I just can't. Another wooonderful thing that happened today at work? The CSL, she complained allll day about being tired. Why? Because she had to work 14 hours yesterday. Excuse me? She didn't stay for 14 hours straight. She worked 8, went home for 3 and came back whereas I stayed there from 6am to all but 6pm. She only worked 2 hours longer then I did but you don't hear me bitchin. By the way, when she "works", all she does is walk around, get in people's business, tell them what they AREN'T doing right. Every now and then, only when we're drowning in orders will she come back and say, "oh, you need any help?" Well what the fuck do you think? We like to take all the order slips, throw them on the floor and roll around in them like a dog rolls in shit? Noo, we like when there's orders for 4 20-piece chicken meals when we don't have a single wing or breast in the warmer. God damnitt, some days I just feel like I'm surrounded by idiots.

So, after that kind of day I just needed to come home, light up a ciggarette and sit on the computer for an hour and a half and just chill. I'm out of ciggarettes and I come home and read a bulletin on myspace...this is it:

To every guy who knows which girl he wants.

To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town (or across the state) to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.

To every guy that gave his heart.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

This is one bulletin for you...Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a dying breed."

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should try to acomplish even a few of these repost this with: "To the nice guys left".

Being that I'm PMSing and feeling like shit because I have a cold and I'm not on my diet today, reading this makes me extremely upset. At this point in my life, I want something like this. I want someone that cares and that I can trust and that^..it sounds so good. I just want a guy like that. I have my eye on 2 boys, I'm friends with both of them but what they don't know (atleast one of them doesn't know) is that I like them a lot. I'm not sure if I want the other one to know abnout it at all or not - I don't want to risk that friendship. What am I to do? = (

Seeing that I've been up since 5 this morning, I'm exhausted. So much to the point that I'm typing with one eye closed which means I'm gonna crash any second now. I'm gonna go take a nap and maybe try to write a song. Yeah, a song about killing my co-workers and wanting to find love...I'm sure that'd be a Grammy-winner...